at the gym
worked out hard
to keep slim.
She went on sun beds,
had face peels,
pampered her feet
and wore heels.
One day she saw
she'd put on weight
so to the surgeon
she set a date.
"Doctor rid me
of this weight.
All I have is salad
on a plate!
I go to the gym
I work out hard
and now obesity
is on the cards."
The doctor looked
and stood quite still,
"My darling girl
are you on the pill?"
The woman opened
her full lipped mouth
and thought hard
which caused a pout.
She took a test
and got a plus.
The woman scowled
and then did cuss.
"A baby now
is on its way
and this now means
I'll put on more weight!
I shall get marks
and large veins
and on my arm pits
I'll get stains.
I shall start now
I shall prepare
with botox
and new underwear."
The woman went off,
brought some youth
then went to the gym
and spread her news.
She did some yoga
and the splits
all with gravity
defying tits.
Nine months later
she called triple nine
and kept a frozen face
the whole time.
"I dont want this baby
to age me.
To be calm and sage
is clearly key.
I learnt in yoga
to be wise
and after birth
I'll get new thighs."
With one big heave
there was a pop
and those who saw
needed botox.
The baby was
unnatural
and the horror
indeed factual:
With sunken cheeks
and slitted eyes,
a face pulled back:
a faux surprise.
A waste of fresh
smelled baby skin
devoid of wrinkles
with leg rolls slim.
The baby pouted
and then preened
from natural beauty
it had been weaned.
The doctor gasped
and then surmised
"through birth this
baby never cried."
"If this here baby
shed such tears
she'd know she'd age
many years
and if she were
to catch the pox
the stress indeed
would need botox."
The mother nodded
and agreed
then for perfect stitches
she was wheeled.
The baby lay
and was all calm
in her incubator
oil of olay balm.
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